Lost my job and drinking alone

I can only think of this person as a type of angel or omnipotent enemy, everytime I drink alone downtown when I’m dangerous blue this person I met when I was 14  named Boogie will be at the same bar as me watching my demise. He has never missed a night, we haven’t said hi in years other than a head nod. The first time I saw hiM he was still in his skinhead phase, he was holding a baby and he was teaching it how to throw pennys at oogles. The oogles were covered in welts and I was neutral on the topic watching it go down from the search and destroy stairs. Wild after all these years he hasn’t gone ten blocks from Saint marks but there’s a respect in that there. He’s an omen of some kind, usually bad I fall out and he is usually close by not helping or harming just observing and I wonder if he has a story about me or remembers me as a kid. If you’re downtown look for the stickers that say “boogie lives” they will only be between Saint marks and 169.

It seems I can’t go 72 hours without someone really hating me making me paranoid constantly. I use to love huge social events I was so loud and funny and a bubble now I am need perpetual loneliness so the paranoia doesn’t take effect. I mourn the person I use to be, I’m glad that person existed though I hope I’m someone’s outlandish memory.