My stroke is happening soon I should move properly before my heart explodes

 I have a drink in my hand that feels so much better than my bed my grandma said I never had real friends the ones that share coke and are barflys aren’t the ones that will help you stand or be there for eulogies these aren’t the people that have seen the best of me

Every song I sang was about those women and men if they don’t see my funeral it will never happen then

The happiest you can be is if someone says the love you deeply so you turn a blind eye to all their lies, everyone is human loyalty doesn’t exist in relationships with alcohol and tounge kisses. Make you a husband make you a Misses there’s no loyalty in New York Coke and I’m done with pretty metaphors deeply don’t care anymore 

Love for a week is better than a year missing you for a month is romantic enough. Give your number to a dealer I don’t win and you get everything and I actually am happy for you I learned to fall lightly in love it will never knock me out anymore that’s what drug dealers are for. 

Get back into hurting yourself

 I am so absolutely bored with heartbreak

The desperate wanting somewhere to someone else do I love can I actually

I am boring like the waves on montaulk tides of Hamptons faggots that figure out there gay for a weekend 

Beach tides have taken away better girls than me better men than me in the eyes of god nonE                                of us are trans we are faggots swept away onto Hampton sand no one has money no one is successful my mom will worry about me until there is a confined body a

That she can believe in 

 The only thing I love in life there’s is nothing I like to do more is to preform 

My rotten eyes my nose faves my jaws puff no one wants to look at me anymore 

 I want to be young and beautiful with a healthy heart I’m just waiting to have a stroke my life is over I didn’t much with it comment please to keep me alive 

 Abuse is cheek ditching lips put to use

Ignored hand holds love specifically never hailed never valued that months or years were gone away to hearts thar can never beat normal now 

Its so normalized to give your youth away to give old age away is that not abuse to trust and stay if spit kept us together that’s it and a hand hold adderall ticked you in

Adderall gave me a heart attack cocaine gave you empathy Alcholol made us never trust together,  anger made us love

Eyes made us cheat im mature enough to know that il love you if you drowned my dog and family blind me and make me deaf I love you even if my one wish is if we never meet 

—

Radar is for whales heartbeats are for snails 

Acoustic smog From the roof of mouths play with everything you’ve ever headed koy pond water obvi fish the first that comes to mind I hope that is never me but I am not an indivisible so im picked everytime an eyeroll and obvious tank

EDIT THIS YOU DRUNK FUCK

Suffocate with noise a boring sub life but the lonely whale still flips and turns and it’s not even me just envy envy envy the unsevessful face, the loser of love. 

Acknowledging rape during the winter months the solstice or whatever moon is happening now

Acknowledging rape during the winter months the solstice or whatever moon is happening now 

 Bodies are also vile to lay on tables I don’t compute laying down and having someone. There was no way to be beautiful asleep there’s no way to be gorgeous horizontal. It makes me so special that I’m the only one that can entice in that way to need me to take me I have never felt that type of allure before but I trust that you needed me so pathetic desperate 

No one likes my eyes those ugly eyes that look older than I really am, no one likes my chest that never properly grew in. No one split my legs in half while I was the most tired but I love love love that I was someone that made you feel so inspired I was chosen and felt

My eyes opened I saw the window the moon was a half crescent or maybe full i didn’t have my contacts in but facts don’t matter me and you were the only two in the world I remember it everyday I hope I have a memory in your body 

You made me Michelle thank you thank you thank you 

Between the bench and me

 Cheekbone kiss that we all hate to love what about having original prowess as a man. Is it elegant to shave and drink and fail against halflings like me? It’s not pretty it’s destitute. When I touch walls I feel the egg shell white I feel empathy and the coating of paint. Is romance easier with a stranger bought and traded or is it something you build with a friend forever who you never touched. What is uglier the thirst that drives desire or the stagnant of a hand never held a heart never confessed. Eye rolls from aggressive dropouts that have nothing to go nowhere, they are my best friend ugly blue eye debit card scam slut that has nothing to offer. Lovely dropout in the park married forever