Maturing is realizing good things don’t come my way because I am not a good person. My soul is rotten and my brain is rotten and if reincarnation is real I must have been truly ugly for this karma to follow me. After this album I will just commit to crack and follow the path that I’ve been avoiding my whole life. It will feel good to finally accept myself and give into who I was meant to be. One last move of artistic expression and then I will be free. 

 The amount of people that love watching me self injure and slowly die via instagram should really be tipping me how can I make money off of this twitch doesn’t allow and neither does insta if I go more hardcore 😪 so fucking lame 

The bracket of ugly is common

 Love is soooooooo fake

———

I’d be good at cancer

_____

I crave wounds

———cutting over 30

Between me and Philly newyorknewyork

There’s no such thing as community aka who you know is where you go

Every chest I’ve slept on if my ear was to your breast I ask

Will you protect me

Entrapment easy wishes hollow yes until

I am left in the drifting classroom the buggy part of life eyerolls checked from nurses a streamline to being touched by homeless men a badge of honor until I become them the park after dark is romance till your alone every chest that I put my ear on listened to their heart and decided to rest never did a thing to protect 

How can a flower grow next to a casino 

Gorgeous days

This room is full of god that means I can survive a car crash or anything beyond my tounge can’t remember our gorgeous days but il love you just the same before the fall when leaves change when my feet peel

From

Never changing socks and I feel ashamed

On my sheets that are gross from us 

 I don’t understand my needs. Who is beautiful there are people that they really love me first they LOVE ME first no games they look they interpret and they come to the end notion that I am funny beautiful worth risking their years for. But my heart doesn’t understand well it belongs to ones that lash and find others for comfort smiles; another mistake of an ugly brain 

 I expect people to ghost when I’m down bad that’s just how it is now. It’s a good way to weed real love from artificial love. Nothing wrong with any kind of love though, just can’t put in energy for someone that wouldn’t do the same for me if they were in a crisis I’d be all in but most people priorities are parties and networking, but that loneliness will catch up to them eventually to and the circle continues. Horrible summer so far but i learned about some people in and out so it wasn’t a waste. 

 I lost this core my identity I need to learn how to be myself again. I feel nothing but despair an emptiness, letting too many people affect how I behave i need to get back to baseline Michelle